Whenever someone tells me a story they’ve already told me before I pretend I haven’t heard it yet so they don’t feel stupid because I’m nice as fuck
i get mras and mrsa confused
one’s a virulent plague upon the vulnerable members of society which is hard to treat and even harder to eradicate
the other one’s methicillin-resistant staphylococcus aureus
I find this difficult to laugh at because of how true it is
i heard a pigeon outside and i said “my son” im not sure why
It’s 2am and I can’t stop laughing at this
He understands the struggle
The worst part of finals week isn’t the studying.
It’s not the tests.
It’s not even the headaches you get from staring at your notes all day.
It’s the absolute procrastination until the panic attacks start to kick in when you realize you have a test in the morning worth 50% of your overall grade and you haven’t learned a damn thing all semester
i dont have time for people who don’t believe in aliens
HI GUYS, I AM SO EXCITED TO BE DOING MY FIRST EVER GIVEAWAY! I just reached my followers goal and am super excited, so excited that I wanted to give back and do a giveaway.
What the winner will win-
- Gold bullion
- The country of Ireland
- A T-rex
- The White House front lawn, including the fountain
- Must be following me, officialunitedstates, @officialunitedstates.tumblr.com -I WILL BE CHECKING
- Must reblog- you can reblog as many times as you’d like.
- Can be from anywhere! Don’t have to be a US citizen!
- Ends December 25th
GOOD LUCK TO YOU ALL